Wish I had eyes!

                                     Seeing is Believing? Well, I don't think so.

I like meeting people. I like sharing experiences. I like knowing about them. Knowing what they are, why they are. The decisions they have made, the choices they have taken.

[Initially I wanted to write this as a suspense article, not revealing the identity of the subject till the end. But then I thought that this guy and his life were too pure to be lied about. I chose to write the truth.]

So I met this disabled guy. I thought I knew him. I thought I could somehow relate to him [Like we always think we can]. But, he turned out to be someone else. Someone I had really not known before.
Yes, he was disabled. Yes, life had been tough for him. Yes, he was fed up of being treated differently. And yes, tired of being cared about [He knows you do not care. He knows you will forget him, his misery and his suffering as soon as you leave the room. He knows you will get busy with your work. Well, why would you care? Valid point! ].

After the meeting, I had some introspection and had to conclude that it was not him who was disabled. It was not him who could not see. It was not him who was suffering.

Here is the conversation that changed my life [Umm no, not changed it entirely. It is too dramatic to speak like that. It did change me. Changing one's life is an altogether different topic of discussion].

[The sentences in brackets are a manifestation of my inner voice and shall keep coming up in the article]

                                                                ******Start******

Mr. A:  Hi! I am Akash. May I come in?

Mr. B:  Yes. Mr. Akash. Please sit down.

Mr. A:  Happy holi Sir!

Mr. B:  Same to you son. I will be glad to be of any help to you.

Mr. A:  Thank you, Sir! It is a 'pleasure' to meet you. I just want to…

Mr. B:  Why? Why is it a 'pleasure' ? You have merely started talking to me. You do not even know me properly. Why then is this 'pleasure' for you?

Mr. A:  Umm, it is Sir! Because…

Mr. B:  Am I good looking?

Mr. A:  Excuse me!

Mr. B:  How else then can this be ‘pleasure’, Son? You have just seen me. If seeing me derives ‘pleasure’ in you, then I might be good looking. Yes?

[See how he concentrates and derives meaning out of mere greetings. Why? Maybe the loss of sight has improved his hearing. Can he smell better too ? Hmm, Interesting. Is this some kind of compensation? He cannot see, so let's just make him a good listener. Hmm, maybe.]

Mr. A:  Umm, Sir. I did not mean that ha-ha! It is just the way I greet people.

[Awkward silence. This is embarrassing. Should not have agreed for this interactive session at all. Damn!]    

Mr. B:  Ha-ha! No worries son. Tell me what do you want to ‘learn’ from me?

Mr. A:  Learn? No Sir! I have come to talk to you. Know about you. You know, casual talking.

[How does he know that this session with him, the disabled, is merely a 'learning experience'? A selfish motive! ]

Mr. B:  Hmm, A project.

Mr. A:  No, not a project. It is just…

Mr. B:  I am the 'project'.

Mr. A:  Excuse me!

Mr. B:  Yes. I am a 'project' for you. Did you not realize that? I did. You come here and question me. I answer you, talk to you, spend some time and you think you have done something noble. That is so noble Mr. Akash ha-ha. What do you have for me? When these supposedly normal people talk to me, they do it because they feel good about it. Somewhere inside they feel happy and relieved that they are not like me. They remember me only when they face some crisis. They say, ’My job sucks. My wife beats me up. My children hate me. My CGPA is falling. But still, I have eyes.Thank God! ’. When their children demand or complain too much, they say ’Just think about those who don’t have eyes; who don’t have limbs. At least you have that. Appreciate what you have’. I am remembered only as a source of pity and relief. What do you think Mr. Akash?

[I was blank]

Mr. A:  Sir, you are not a 'project'!

[Stop lying to yourself you moron. Yes he is. He is your project. He is a person that you will forget, the moment you step out of this office. He is the one whom you will remember only when you feel devastated, defeated. He is the one that will make you thank God. ‘Thank you God, you did not deprive me of anything. Thank you for keeping me able’. So selfish of you Akash! ]

Mr. B:  Hahahahha. Really?

Mr. A:  I don’t know.

Mr. B:  Hmm, you seem like a nice person. So, shall we start interacting?

Mr. A:  I am a little surprised by what you said before. The 'project' thing. It might be true. I am not really sure why I came to you. But, what you said did somehow make sense to me.

Mr. B:  Ha-ha! It is always pleasant to be upfront. Always. I like that about you. I never lie, you know.

Mr. A:  Never?

Mr. B:  Never. I don’t see the point in it. They say, you can always tell whether the person is lying just by   looking directly in his eyes. I can hardly see the face, let alone the eyes. So I don’t lie. I assume that the person talking to me is an honest man. If he could speak his heart to me, who am I to lie.

Mr. A:  Umm. That is nice. I never thought that way. You have a different way of ‘looking’ at things…

[This person cannot ‘see’. Do you really need eyes to ‘see’? I have eyes. I have good eyes. Why could I not see the world as he did?]

Mr. B:  Yes. I do. I look at things differently. 

When you cannot ‘see’ the actuality, you only ‘see’ what you want to. For example,

I want to see happiness. I work in Samanvya Sewa Kendra. I take care of handicapped people. I 'make' them happy.

I want to see love. I love my family and friends endlessly. I spend time with them. I 'make' them feel loved.

I want to see myself successful and independent. I am a lawyer. I know 5 languages. I have worked as a physiotherapist and a cook. I 'make' my success on my own.

If you can clearly ‘see’, you can make it happen. Sadly, people with eyes fail to see. They see what is shown to them.

Mr. A:  I am sorry Sir. I treated you as a 'project'. No one should be treated like that. I did consider you a project. A project from which I could gain something, somehow. You are not a project. You are much more than that. And this was the most profound conversation I have ever had. Thank you for the privilege.    

                                                                                                                                                                                             ******End******

                                               


‘’  Blindness is a state of mind,

    And it was the state alone
    That never kept him blind.

    No matter where he lived,

    Where he went,

    He only saw,

    What really meant.

    So, just to see what he saw,

    I closed my eyes.

    And to my surprise,

    I found the truth.
    Hidden for long,

    Beneath the lies’’